It is with heavy heart that we announce the passing of Roberta Joann Alford Barnes on June 23, 2023 at the age of 73 in Payson, Utah. Complications of Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS or Lou Gehrig’s Disease) ultimately took her life, making her years in retirement short.
Roberta was born December 21, 1949, in Portland, Oregon to Margeret Jenny Potter and Clebert Carter Alford. She was raised in Portland where she often worked alongside her father in his garden and learned to do all things any independent person should know. Her dad required her to know and understand all basic parts and fixes of vehicles if she was going to have her own car. Her mom struggled with heart problems and died at a young age so Roberta also learned how to manage life inside the house as well. She talked about how her father, Clebert, was truly one to share in all home tasks. “There is no man’s work or woman’s work- there is just work! And it needs to get done!” Roberta was quiet, curious, and often in her own world. Any time she walked somewhere, she had no problem just stopping, looking around, and walking slower; this earned her the nickname of Pokey Jo. (And, yes, this quality did endure through her adulthood.) One time, Pokey Jo wandered into the house to prepare dinner and was asked to ready a fresh chicken. She complained about how gross this task would be and suggested maybe her mom should do it. Her father quickly quipped, “What makes you think your hands are any better than the hands of your mother?!” There wasn’t any confrontation after that and she obeyed. She expected men and women to be equally involved and able.
Roberta attended David Douglas High School prior to attending the University of Portland where she graduated cum laude with a Bachelor’s Degree in Education. While attending the University of Portland, Roberta met the love of her life, an engineering student from Iran, Medhi Hashemi. Following a sweet romance, they were married and soon welcomed two children into their lives only 19 months apart, a daughter, Jennifer, and a son, Jacob. World politics conspired to separate these two sweethearts and Medhi was stuck in Iran after going to pay his final respects to his father, while Roberta found herself alone in Oregon raising their two young children. It was around this time that Roberta’s mother passed away. After seven years of marriage living half a world apart, Medhi and Roberta decided to divorce and continue their lives in their respective countries.
Seeking to have a positive male influence for her children, Roberta married Keith Barnes in central Oregon and welcomed two more children, Aaron and Tyler- born only 13 months apart. Though this relationship did not last, Roberta loved her children and remained devoted to all four of them throughout her life, in addition to her granddaughter, Tea, for whom she became the legal guardian.
Roberta worked as a teacher for 24 years, the majority spent at LaPine Elementary in central Oregon. Later in her career, she attended the University of Oregon while working full-time and completed her Masters Degree in Education Leadership. The teachers and students she worked with witnessed her humor throughout her teaching. Any time her students would feel stumped, she’d ask them to pause while she walked over to her desk, grabbed a construction hard hat, put it on and say, “This is a hard problem! Let’s think and get this hard problem done.” She had a special collection of glasses, hats, and other dress-ups for various occasions in teaching. Ms. Barnes would also incorporate active and applied learning whenever possible because she knew “worksheets don’t grow dendrites!”
The final years of her career were spent as a school administrator serving as an associate principal in Ontario, Oregon and principal in Albany, Oregon. Roberta was working on completing her dissertation for an EdD in Education Leadership when her father’s health started to decline. She retired early to care for him and never completed her final defense. Her relationship with her father was strong and tender, and we feel peace knowing she is reunited with him again.
Following her early retirement (and with much pressure from her children after some health scares) she moved in with her son Aaron and his family in Utah where she remained until her passing. Even at age 67, she couldn’t just sit still in retirement. She took a part-time job as the Graduate Coordinator of Neuroscience at Brigham Young University until re-retiring just a couple years ago. She and her daughter-in-law, Lauren, enjoyed traveling to various locations to recruit undergraduate students to their respective graduate programs at BYU. This formed a bond that would serve them both in the final months of her life.
Roberta was an active and dedicated member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and served in a variety of church leadership positions. Faith and Family were the most important things in her life. She was steadfast in her faith and belief of a resurrected Savior, Jesus Christ, and that her family could have the opportunity to be together forever.
Roberta read multiple books every single week and loved word games like Scrabble. When smartphones came around, she started playing Words with Friends with all sorts of people and she almost never lost. When Wordle was released, she was hooked and completed it just about every day in minimal tries, refusing to use the easier starter words many rely upon. She committed herself to active brain activities, often completing jigsaw puzzles on her iPad, multiple sudoku games, and buying workbooks so she wasn’t “just looking at screens, and still practicing dexterity.” Aaron and Lauren’s kids would often go to her room and snuggle up on her lap, and when they got too big, would sit on the arm of her recliner. As an introverted, non-physically-affectionate person, she sure let her grandkids and great-grandkids snuggle, hug, and love on her as much as they wanted. They love their Grandma and GG!
Realizing her body was starting to give out in various ways, she retired from her position at BYU around 2020. She went to doctors of all kinds trying to figure out and narrow down the causes of her symptoms. She had multiple overnight hospital stays and tests. It wasn’t until December 2022 that her son, Aaron, finally convinced her to make the drive to University of Utah Healthcare for their assessment. At this point, she was struggling to swallow, often had oxygen in the 70s, could hardly hold her head up, and was often tired. Many doctors were dismissive, claiming it was just old age, but the doctors of Neurology at University of Utah Hospital were finally able to find a diagnosis that fit all the symptoms she’d been experiencing for years- ALS.
Roberta maintained a positive attitude and never once said she feared death. Those caring for her joined in her positivity and humor. Aaron would often “dance” his mom to bed at night by putting one hand on her back while she would hold his other hand for support. When she started to need help bathing, she joked that she and Lauren “no longer had any secrets.” Any time one of her Hospice care team came during the last month of her life, they’d have at least one story or comment from her that made them laugh. She helped others feel at ease and comfortable. Roberta said she’d perform “a full system check each morning to see what [she’d] lost that day.” She never wanted to be a burden on anybody and wanted to be as independent for as long as possible. She was so excited when Lauren’s work colleagues built a ramp that would enable her to get outside on her power wheelchair and be in the sun and get fresh air, as she loved to sit in the sun with a good book on her Kindle.
The day before her passing, she had enough energy to run errands and go shopping with hope and planning toward the future. On the way back home, she commented that we “should turn her 74th birthday into her 100th because of how her body was doing”. While we wish we had more time with her, we are grateful she is now free from a body impinged by neurological ailment and failure. We find peace knowing she is reunited joyfully with her parents and other loved ones and look forward to a sweet reunion with her again someday. And maybe even a hug if we’re lucky.
Roberta is survived by two sisters, Darlene and Susan (Jim Stutts); her four children, Jennifer, Jacob, Aaron (Lauren), and Tyler (Mandy); ten grandchildren, Tea (Dallin Inman), Nina, Shyann, Amir, Aidan, Maxwell, Avalon, Willow, Josiah, and Benjamin; and two great-grandchildren, Bodhi and Arya.
A funeral service is scheduled for 10:00 am on Saturday, July 1, 2023 at The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (1138 E 100 S, Payson, UT 84651). Visitation will be prior from 9:00 a.m. to 9:45 a.m. at the church.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to the ALS Association Rocky Mountain Chapter.
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